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After Puck was done absorbing the awesomeness of the letter, he hid it away in the box he kept under his four-poster bed. When he was sure it was safe, Puck made his way out of the fifth-year boys dormitory and headed toward the Great Hall, where he hoped to find Kurt finishing up with dinner.

Right outside the Great Hall, he was approached by Blaine. The shorter boy’s expression could only be described as one of mischievous glee. He stopped in front of Puck, blocking his path.

“What do you want, Anderson?”

“Just to give you something,” Blaine was rocking back and forth on his heels, arms clasped behind his back.

Puck waited for a beat before snapping, “What is it?”

Blaine seemed to snap out of what ever stupor he was in, “Right! Of course! Kurt told me to give you this.”

Puck eagerly snatched the small corked, glass bottle out of Blaine’s outreached hands and studied its contents. At first glance, the bottle appeared to be empty. Puck looked harder and saw what looked like a luminescent piece of silver thread.

Puck’s confusion must have been written on his face, because Blaine piped up with, “It’s a memory.” He continued when Puck’s confusion didn’t clear up, “Kurt extracted a memory from Rachel’s head and wants you to watch it. You’ll need a Pensieve, but you can find one in the basement of the library.”

Puck nodded and went to do just that, eager to figure out what Kurt could possibly want to show him from the inner mind of Rachel Barbara Berry.





The basement of the library was empty, unsurprisingly. Nearly everyone was at dinner and if they weren’t, they had better things to do than hang out in a creepy library basement. Puck blamed Kurt for luring him to a room that looked like the place where Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer came to swap torture techniques.

Puck shuddered at the thought and rushed to the nearest Pensieve to watch the memory that was given to him. He uncorked the bottle and poured the memory in the silvery swirl surface of the Pensieve. Pausing to draw in breath, he dunked his head beneath the surface.

He was pitched headfirst into the substance inside the basin. He shuddered as the sensation of falling through something icy cold and black washed over him. It was like being sucked into a dark whirlpool. Puck hated it. He hit the ground with a soft impact thud. Wincing, he scrambled to his feet and looked at his surroundings.

Puck found himself in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, looking at the entirety of the Glee club assembled in the mostly empty room. Well, almost the entire Glee club.

“Hey, where’s Kurt?” Puck heard his past self ask.

With this question, Puck knew exactly when and where this memory took place. It was at the beginning of the year and the Glee club was guilted into helping Professor Schue organize the mountains of sheet music that was donated by all the alumni that Schue got into contact with. Blanching, Puck kind of figured out why Kurt wanted him to see this particular memory.

“He’s in the observation room, Noah. There was another box of sheet music there,” Rachel had replied as she examined the music from Gypsy.

“What the hell is the observation room?” Puck had retorted.

Blaine, who had been excitedly creating piles separating the music by genre and chronology, replied, “The observation room is two rooms, actually. They use rooms like that for the practical parts of the Defense O.W.L.S. One room has a challenge you have to overcome and the other room has a two-way mirror that looks into the room, allowing the test-givers to observe the way you approach the challenge.”

Mike chimed in, “It’s like an interrogation room.” He smiled in a way that suggested that his comment was more effective then the entirety of Blaine’s explanation. Which it was, because if there was anything Puck loved to do more than flying and having sex, it was watching Law and Order: SVU marathons at home.

“Is he just getting a box? Because he left ages ag—“ Finn was cut off by a sound that made present-Puck shudder and he knew what was coming.

A heart-stopping scream filled the air.

Past-Puck (and everyone really) jumped. Chills ran up and down Puck’s spine and he witnessed the same reaction in his past self. Everyone’s eyes were wide, trading unsure, frightened glances. Puck saw Finn open his mouth to say something, but didn’t get a chance when another scream could be heard.

NOAH! FINN! MERCEDES! SOMEONE PLEASE!” Puck’s eyes filled with tears when he heard the raw terror in Kurt’s voice.

As one, the club dropped whatever they where holding and ran out of the room and to the source of the screaming, past-Puck leading the way, with Finn, Mercedes, and Blaine hot at his heels. Puck ran with his past self and watched as all thirteen members of the Glee club rushed into the observation room.

Puck watched his past-self run up to the window that looked into the room Kurt was in. He heard Rachel and Quinn gasp and Brittany and Tina whimper. Finn’s eyes were so wide, it was a miracle they didn’t pop out of their sockets.

“No. Nonononononononono.” Puck’s past self was plastered against the window looking into see one of the more horrific sights of his short life.

Kurt was huddled into a corner, laying in fetal position, shaking. His eyes were screwed tightly shut and his hand was in a death grip on the handle of his wand. Around him was the telltale sheen of a Shield Charm-erected bubble.

What was the shield necessary for? Only the enormous cockroach making its way over to Kurt’s corner, legs scrambling furiously in the way that roaches move. And when Puck says enormous, he means this roach was the size of a horse.

“What the fuck is that?!” He’d never heard Blaine curse until this moment, but it was warranted.

“Guys, we need to get him out of there. His heart is gonna stop. He hates roaches.” Puck heard Mercedes trying to keep it together, but her voice was laced with scared tears. Kurt screamed again and Puck watched his past self lose it, pounding his fists against the glass. He wasn’t the only one. Finn and Sam both added their strength to the breaking of the window.

“Where’s the door?” Brittany’s voice was meek.

Rachel cried, “Once you go in there and the challenge starts, the door disappears. It only reappears when the challenge is over or the examiners end it! I don’t know how this happened, the room should be dormant during the year!”

Santana barked, “Alright! Chang, run and find Schuester or Sylvester—“ Mike took off in a flash. “—Quinn, Berry, Aretha! Wands out and try every spell you can think of to break this glass. Puckerman, move!”

Puck saw his past-self move reluctantly away from the window as Kurt’s three best girlfriends viciously attacked the glass with everything they had.

Flipendo!”

Reducto!”

Diffindo!”

Nothing was working. The glass was probably enchanted and charmed over multiple times to prevent its destruction. The three didn’t give up though, tears of frustration and fear running down their faces as they continued to send spell after spell.

Puck turned to look at the contemplative face his past-self was sporting. He watched as an enlightened expression overtook his face after they both heard Sam say out loud.

“It sucks so much that it had to be a roach!”

“That’s it!” Past-Puck’s outcry made the rest of the club turn to him, “It’s his worst fear!”

“We know, Puck!” Finn said.

“Moron! How convenient is it that the one thing in that room is the thing Kurt’s afraid of the most?”

“A boggart!” Ten voices cried in unison at the same time Brittany said, “An evil elf!”

Taking no time to address the blonde, Past-Puck ran to the window and started screaming, “It’s a boggart, Kurt! Use Riddikulus!”

Kurt didn’t move, only whimpered more loudly, giving no sign that he heard Puck. Rachel explained, “He can’t hear you!”

Blaine pointed to what looked like a speakerbox next to the window, “That’s a microphone the examiners use to coach the people inside! We can use that!”

Past-Puck ran to the speaker and pressed the button. He took a deep breath before saying, in a calm voice that was the complete opposite of what he was feeling, “Kurt?”

Kurt’s eyes flew open at the sound, “Noah?”

“Hey, babe. Yeah, it’s me.”

“Noah, please help me. It’s breaking the shield!” Kurt’s voice was hysterical and Puck fought back tears at the sound.

“Babe, I can’t get in there. But you can do this. Once you fight it, you can get out of there.”

“I can’t, Noah! Please don’t make me!” Puck closed his eyes. This Kurt was so different from the confident, passionate Quidditch captain most people in that room were familiar with. It hurt to see the amount of pain and pity that crossed their faces.

“Yes, you can, Kurt. If anyone can do it, it’s you. You’re the strongest, bravest, most badass guy I know. You’re first in our Defense class. You can do this.”

Kurt sobbed a little in response, but nodded. “Alright, dollface. I want you to listen to me. This is a boggart.”

Kurt’s head flew up at that, “What?!”

“It’s not real, Kurt.”

“It looks real!”

Puck chuckled a little. “I know, babe. But you need to use Riddikulus.”

Kurt blanched, “I can’t keep up the shield and use the charm at the same time!”

Past-Puck winced, he’d apparently thought of that. “I know, babe. But you have to do it. Please. Do it for me.”

Kurt nodded shakily and braced himself. He got onto his knees and with a wave of his wand the shield disappeared. Immediately, the roach entered the bubble of space left open by the shield.

Kurt shrieked, “RIDDIKULUS.”

The roach paused and, with a ‘pop’, disappeared and reappeared, dead, on it’s back. Puck winced, it wasn’t much better. Kurt sobbed, clearly still frightened.

Past-Puck spoke into the speaker again, “Alright, babe. I need you to laugh.”

Kurt sobbed more loudly, entire body shaking from the proximity it had to the dead roach. Mirth didn’t seem like too good a possibility at the moment.

Past-Puck turned to the rest of the club, “Guys, we need to make him laugh before the boggart regains strength and becomes a live roach again.”

The club snapped into action, everyone suggesting ways of getting the Keeper to laugh.

“Remember the time Quinn forgot to put on pants and walked into the Great Hall in her underwear?”

“Oh, shut up Satan! Hey Kurt, do you remember the pant-suit Rachel wore to the Village that one time.”

“We’re supposed to make him laugh, not want to gauge his eyes out! We should sing the Silly Song!”

“Sam, that wasn’t funny when we were nine. Yo, Kurt, just think of Sylvester’s face after you threw off Imperio! That was hilarious!”

“Talk more ghetto, Artie. You pretending to be from the hood is always funny.”

“Guys! Shut up! None of this is working!” Finn was starting to panic.

Past-Puck grinned suddenly, “Hey, babe?”

“Yes?” Kurt sounded tired and strung out.

“Can I put my basilisk in your Chamber of Secrets?”

A moment of silence overtook the room, most people too shocked to say anything. Puck observed Finn and Rachel’s twin looks of horror with glee.

A giggle was heard and it was obvious that most people thought it was Brittany from the way that they turned to look at her. She wasn’t the culprit, however, mouth full of the nails that she was biting at. More giggles erupted and there was no mistaking the source.

Kurt was doubled over, hands over his mouth trying to contain the laughs that bubbled over. With an even bigger ‘pop’, the corpse of the roach disappeared in a cloud of smoke and the door to the room reappeared. Past-Puck wrenched it open and ran to wrap his arms around the still-giggling Kurt, who fell into the embrace easily. It was clear that he was hysterical, but Puck didn’t care because he was fine.

Suddenly, his surrounds began to swirl and he felt a hand pulling at his shoulder. With an abrupt shift, Puck fell on his ass in the basement of the library.

“Oops, sorry about that. Didn’t mean to pull you out so hard.” Puck blinked and looked up to the sight of Blaine Anderson standing above him.

“What the fuck?!”

“The memory was ending anyway. I have the second part of this message to give you.”

Puck grumbled about hobbits as he took the proffered piece of parchment from the still-hyperactive wizard.

Dear Noah,

How could you even question my love and adoration of you when you saved my life? You literally saved my life. My heart would have given out given much longer. You stayed calm and walked me through one of the most terrifying moments of my life.

Be happier and more successful? Can’t do that if I died then.

Don’t be stupid, Noah. I love you and you are so good for me. You’re the
best.

All my love,

Kurt


Puck read and re-read the short letter before looking up at the soft, adoring face of Blaine Anderson, “Why didn’t Kurt give me this in person?”

“He’s working on the next part of the surprise, of course. Speaking of which, I have to go. Toodles!” And with that, he ran off, leaving Puck with his thoughts.

Comments

pterawaters
Jun. 12th, 2011 09:48 pm (UTC)
Lol! Best HP innuendo ever! Loved it!
eyesarmslove
Jun. 13th, 2011 05:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I love that one!